How to bid farewell

How do you make sure that you're ready for that final farewell?

I once read that in order to make parting easier, you find fault in everything that you're about to leave and when you're just about to leave you feel angry and negative and all the bad emotions till you really just can't wait to leave the place for good.

I don't know how legit that method is, but it sounds like such a bad way to leave a place that must mean a lot to you.

I've been finding my own methods to bid farewell and have the strength to leave with my heart intact.

I know i will probably feel like anchoring myself permanently to the ground and hope to only and forever be drenched in the beautiful memories of the place. This feels foreign to me. 

I'm not the staying type, I'm not a big fan of commitment and I don't have a problem jumping into unknown waters (provided it's safe of course, calculated risks and all), but when a place has become familiar to the point that the streets and the buildings and the air and the people no longer fill me with trepidation and fear, I know I am at home.

How do you leave your home? Especially the one that has moulded you and developed you, for better or for worse, into the person that you are  now?

You live in the moment. You relish you last few days and hours in the warm embrace of the Melbournian sun and you gorge yourself silly at your favourite brunch spots and you make it a point that you tell yourself the same words at every place on your list that you have to (re)visit: "This may very well be the last time I'll be here. Maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, maybe forever. Thank you for the memories, and goodbye."

The end of a chapter will be the beginning of another. We never know how long we have left but we know it will never be enough, protect the memories but brace yourself for another kind of adventure, another journey, another chance at falling madly in love. The only way to truly live is to allow yourself the chance to feel, but have the courage to let go and do it all over again.

I hate cliches

When do you know you've had enough?

When the tears flow and you have no more reason to defend them? When you just get a headache because you can't comprehend the rationale, or you just don't want to?

It must be nice to cry. I haven't done it in awhile. I want to, but I can't. Crying can be a luxury too. Funny how you never view it that way until you find something affect you to the extent that you've got so much to let go but you don't know how because you physically cannot.

Every time I stumble on something new, I think to myself: this must be it. It's something worth fighting for, worth staying for, worth crying for.

I thought I'd found it again after the fiasco that preceded. But no.

I've learnt now that everyone is the same.

Someone once asked me if my expectations were too high? I told them I learnt never to expect anymore, I always get disappointed.

But now that I think about it, if I don't have any more expectations why am I still feeling like this.

Maybe it's like I thought, this time will be different. But its' not.

When someone makes you cry (or feel like crying) and you cannot justify it anymore, then you walk away. And you don't look back.

Good thing I've become so good at it.

The Revival

You know that feeling you get when you've got the world to say but no shoulder to cry on just coz people don't get it?

All I've ever really wanted is just someone to listen wholeheartedly to what I have to say, giving me that undivided attention and just let me release all the pent-up emotion I have been suppressing in the form of tailored and subtle tweets.

I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself and I've been doing exactly that for four years now. I don't need help, I don't need anyone's help.

I just need a friend.